Too Punk to Ask Permission

 If I wanna help and heal people and be myself and doing things that feel right or especially are spiritually guided, then I'm gonna. I don't want permission. 

I want to do all these in spite of a world that wants everyone to have accreditation, for them to pass along their discernment to some council that decides if they are qualified to be doing a thing. And it's not like it works. I don't even have to point a finger. You're thinking it. Unqualified people are making the world a shithole of a place and they even got permission to do it. 

I makes sense to me that I can do pretty much whatever I want, as long as I'm not hurting anybody, and get away with it. So, why do people think I'm gonna wanna license to practice shamanism when shamanism is the kind of thing you really get trained through a life well-lived and training with spirit guides, anyway. You think I need a piece of paper to know that I'm Super Blessed and that I earned it through long hours of deep contemplation and knowing my own self. 

It's not that you can see your whole self, anytime, and if you can't even see your whole self, imagine how much of the world you don't know and can't see anytime. I've been kicking my own self in the butt today about my child side and parent side and how I probably ended up at my parents' house to rein in my inner wicked teenager, and obviously to process feelings of anger, captivity, isolation, suspicion on all sides, being observed, criticized, belittled, in fear for physical safety, guilt over needing to eat, rebelliousness, lack of security, as a burden, disbelieved, like I'm antagonizing them just by being in the house. I can't say where all these feelings come from at this time because I have told my mom that I wouldn't talk about her, and it would be unsafe for me to call anyone out while I'm in this house. 

When I was tired of being homeless in Shreveport. I was especially guided on a day to write one blog post to https://shreveporthomeless.blogspot.com and by the end of the week I was on my way back here to my parents, all the energy ringing signs that I was somehow right on time again, and I needed the woods and time off my feet. I've been having trouble in my feet and feel like there's a calibration operation going on about them, my roots, my chakras in my feet, knowing when to fast from food to heal, and being just a little too far from my doctor to get anything done about it. It's a mystery, but I'm not going to give up on the idea that there's something mystical happening. If nothing else, I needed to be grounded and as long as I had my feet feeling fine I could tell myself that if things got too hairy I could Just Walk Away. It's a little harder to imagine just walking away when your feet are messed up, maybe bone spurs since it hurts in my heels and sometimes get swollen or enflamed. 

Bring on the Calibrations! 

Calibrations is a Team effort with guides and guardians to set perception of higher mind and communications. Like if you have tinnitus and tell them you recognize there is a message happening and then honor whatever vision or knowing you have and ask them to back off on the loudness in the tinnitus and then find it's relaxed somewhat. Tinnitus Sucks. It just does. But once you realize you can hear a singing up sound, like a radio frequency that changes or alerts you to some message coming in, then  you are working with your team for calibrations. Your body and the brain in it is the receiver. 

Just like when I was a Fucking Teenager and learning my own Spirit of Rebellion. It's not safe to have my own feelings, and I'm also here to reaffirm that I'm not asking permission to have them. In the scheme of my life, I've been asking to face my shadow, to process and heal, since I was a teenager. Teen-Theme Day! And maybe another day I'll feel more like explaining the levels of doing that, but I'm going to skip to now and this returning to their sphere after all my additional levels of mastery has shown me another lifetime full of shit I'm gonna have to keep processing down the line. 

OK, back to the topic... 

Sure, I'd have benefitted a lot from more "formal" education, but I wouldn't have been free to explore the way I have as a self-student and Divinely Guided, even if everyone's curiosity is guided and most folks just don't know it.