Planned or Pants: I'd Rather be Out There

I'm without a car right now, but ideally, I'd be living in a van going place-to-place like a Terri Poppins who can help for a while and add to whatever scene is happening and then float off on the wind. I already decided any vehicles I get are part of the Infinite Love Fleet, and that there should be a selector sign on it that says Planned or Pants so I can pick whether I'm doing an intention or finding something by the seat of my pants. 

Terri Poppins Paradigm! 

Terri Poppins is one of my alter egos who really enjoys using her manifesting, discernment, and intuition to help friends with whatever it is. Terri Poppins floats in on a wind and helps and then floats back out again. Usually, I keep my friends no matter what happens. It's really a favorite side of myself to be her, and I'm not the only one who plays this kind of role since I've met a Frosty the Snowman guy, and a few Santa Clauses, and more that I can't think of right at this moment. Helping friends in times of need is such an important part of who I want to be that it's what I've been as much as I could see to be that. 

Terri Poppins is a lover, and sometimes I have been that part of myself while finding out about possible romantic connections. Sometimes just being myself is all that I have to be to share something important and real with a partner. Whether it's a forever friend or someone I know in a special way in passing is up to fate or the algorithm, or something. But I love that this is part of who I am and intend to be, even with potential lovers and ones I find myself in intimate situations with. 

Terri Poppins is Saint Sona. 

Saint Sona was the name the spirits gave me when I was spending a lot of time with Indian dudes around the time of covid. To me, it was my Indian Adventure, and I had made friends in-person or online with Indian men from all the states. Women are harder to meet and get to know, though I had tried also to connect with them or to even find one as a friend. Meanwhile, I was a brazen toot and even flaunted that I was a hottie and romantic anytime I was on the Indian side of town around Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill Triangle. So, visiting the Indian guys was part of my spiritual path since Everything-Everything is part of my spiritual path, and it was also draining and like work. I wrote a lot more jokes during that time than I did details, and I have a convenient forgetting mechanism between adventures. So, I'm not sure how much I'm going to be able to really tell when I write the book "Sluts Can't Be Saints" by Saint Sona. But I am sure that I am a saint for all the personal hours of counsel, comfort, friendship, and love I shared with these Indian guys and my saint name is Saint Sona. 

Becoming Saint Sona was also happening during the period when I invented Food Tourism around a scheme I called "Indian Food Punk" and became Terri Contrary or right after. Terri Contrary happened as an inspiration while I was fasting from food and learning all about healing myself on an intense round of dealing with diabetes and wanting to connect more deeply with my purpose. I had a total vision about it and the branding of Terri Contrary Grassroots Runaway, some of which has splits that are more about me taking my methods of self-healing to small-town women who think you need money to do it. You don't need money, but you do need freedom to do your own life and energy, your own mind to make up, and support, even if you have to use your imagination about Spirit being Always With You. 

I was gonna have the Terri Contrary Grassroots Runaway Van and put a decal on it of a van that's speeding down the hill without a driver and a great big selector sign on the back with a slider for what kind of adventure I was on: Planned or Pants. I was gonna take a sound system around and have small Women-centric events with health and wellness-focused education, as well as some sign-up sheets for locals to have a time to make some presentation about their business or testimony. I was gonna have information on the cycle of abuse, on using their voice, on the process of requesting information from official sources, some basics of journalism like that as well. And I really wanted to be small-timing it to the local libraries and small towns especially. I worried that all the boyfriends would be mad that I explained abuse to their girlfriends and that husbands would be upset about all the vegetables women would be growing as they took back their health from the garbage markets. I also worried that I could start some kind of cult. 

Cults suck.

Communities are hard to build and hard to keep. Who's important changes, and people don't know who to be. Intent and energy around communities change, and people don't know who to be. It's hard to get people to show up if they don't know who they want to be when they get there. The paradigm of Good-Ole-Boys running things is going to end, and People Don't Know Who They Want to Be. And it's part of the problem I'm here to consider. Patriarchy Out. Balance In. Divine Feminine on the rise, and people don't know who they want to be. 

But I know I don't want a cult. I'd much rather not have people idolize anything about me than to put me on some pedestal of enlightenment where I'm to advise them on things great and small or expected not to make mistakes. I'd rather people think for themselves, possibly acknowledge me and my message, or even follow some of the advice I have to share, but not worship me and definitely not to cause a cult because of me. A following is a cult, and I'm doomed to have one. But I don't want to be the one to make it, no matter how many different versions I have dreamed to organize and improve the world. So probaby, since I'm definitely going to keep going, I'll have a following and be glad that I do and wish that I didn't. 

Churches are cults. So many of them are, and ask the people to be sheep to be herded. And I don't want anyone following me who doesn't do it because they really thought about it. I'd rather not have anyone pray to me, though they already do and I can feel it, and I'd rather not be involved with organizations of faith or belief, though I know that I will. Lots of organizations could be considered as a cult, and it's too easy for cults to take advantage of the members and to cause harm. I'd rather not be involved in anything that causes harm, even if it's an organization of caring folks who mean well. 

And I'm also here to be a Leader, or so there is also a Paradigm of this in the paradise. And some or a lot of my development as an enlightened being has been preparing me to be a leader of some kind, whether it's spiritual or political as well is hard to tell. 

I don't like the political landscape at all. But being in touch with the collective and responsible to transmuting the emotions of the people, feeling them, being able to sense the future and the vibes of the people as a nation or a world, it really is a position I take seriously and know I want to have a fulfilling role in Changing and Sharing Love with. May my deepest compassion be felt by each and every one of us. 

"What is it going to take for you to be the ultimate peacemaker?" asked the angel. 
"Give me the Buddha Christ aura so all the generals know who holds rank," I said. "I wanna wear sunglasses to hang out with myself." I'm gonna laugh til I die. I might also live forever.

How many times do they have to tell me I live at the Top of a Lighthouse before I know I'm the light in the top of the lighthouse? 

The light at the top is a guiding light, and whatever the eventual picture of my message I'm destined to be a guiding light of hope in the dark, a direction, and to reach more people by being high-up enough to be seen from long distances. Even imagining myself this way is relieving to me. At least if I'm being shown a world where there is a light at the top, even if I have got to give my whole life to seeing it be there, I can imagine a better world as well. 

Forget all those puppets dancing for the media circus. They're not making this world. They did take all the presses out of the small town so we would forget how to use them, and they do try to make it seem that privatizing things that should be shared for the common good for a premium is better than investing in the whole community. And they are definitely siphoning the opportunities so that there can be continued interest in spending one's life in military service is a better alternative to abject poverty. They definitely convoluted the law process until it has as much unjust commitment as it does just balancing. And they do assume we will continue to be so distracted by our personal algorithms that we forget someone is pulling the strings. But not all of us will. And some of us are destined to have things to say about the implementation of an intentional strata of poverty as a way of disguising an even worse implementation of ignorance in the land. People might not know who they want to be, but they are definitely not going to be the same after Whatever-Whatever. 

Who's gonna help when they close the customer service wing of the privatized everything? 

Trust in the government is only high in the ones who have bought into the propaganda that there's some solution there, especially the ones who drink up the snake oil of salesmen who just want to hear themselves talking and never intend to listen. 

I feel. I listen. I'm not buying it. 

Now, You go along and be the Ultimate Peacemaker, and I'll cheer you on. I believe in you and know you're going to make great things happen in the world. I love you. I believe in you. I stand by you.