So, I haven't been updating this too much on my current events because some stories land better when there is more distance between recent troubles and future blessings.
Suffice it to say, I'm still in Texas, and I'm doing fine. I kept saying that if God wanted me to do anything different than the way things were going, that the doors would open easily and that it would even make sense. So now I'm playing a new game called "Hotel" -- and that's all the details I want to share about my level here. Shaman training levels are mysterious. I'm holding onto that and anyone with any opinion about that knows where the sun shines and where it don't.
I'm gonna be here til I get my van. I think so for now anyway. I'm safe, happy (mostly), comfortable, having some good friends and taking some rest when I can. I'm aching for that freedom of the open road again, but it will be a lot safer for me getting around to all these story parts once I have my own wheels again.
What is hard to explain to folks is that some things I've had to be about these past 19 months at least is that "You can't say Walkabout that many times and expect to drive the whole thing." And some of the places, stories, people, spots, lifestyles, and especially understanding in this world do not make any sense to be in if you have money or a ride. I still had to go there. I wouldn't change a minute of my journey and find myself in these perfect moments of golden understanding that couldn't have been imagined or planned in any way that would make it be just this perfect.
Do you want to call it God's design? I've co-created all of these with my vibration, frequency, authenticity, and all the versions of myself that show up spot to spot. Co-creating with God. Or Co-creating with my higher-self and spirit-team. Or Co-creating with the Collective Conscious. Or creating myself through these co-creations. I surrendered to the path and allow it to mold me, to show me what I don't know that I don't know, to inspire me creatively in my creations and in making me who I am intended to become. I'm evolving and have blossomed and also dive back into cocoons anytime the scene calls for fresh wings.
Please don't assume your version of God and mine are alike in the ways that make you comfortable. If you're at ease about my writing and being inspired because you can imagine some God that you feel you know is making the map I follow, then you're only partly right. Mine challenges me into spots even I don't want to stay. Mine challenges me into learning from experience lots of things that folks barely want to look at. It has been the furthest thing from easy around here. And I would do it exactly the same. Exactly the same.
I don't prefer any religion. I will say that again and again. I do not prefer any religion. If you can't see that the Nature of Nature, the mysterious force of life energy and its many forms are being revealed through individual encounters with it -- then I'm also not here to convince you how to look. Get to looking; it's your version.
It's hard also to explain to folks that "I don't plan" -- since being on the journey is finding the path as it unfolds. I'm Divinely Guided by angels/ancestors/spirit-guides and many of these even show up in the 3D world as friends and allies. So I don't plan.
You don't plan?! What about GOALS?!! -- OK, so I have some standards I like to maintain. I do some basic things for my health with Type 2 Diabetes, like take insulin, since being insulin dependent on a wild-ass shaman journey means an added level of concern and makes me question access and healthcare everywhere I land. I also like to stay clean, which I have done in lots of creative ways -- even if my redneck side was happiest with the water hose option at one camping spot this year. And I like to continue mental training, energy training, practicing my shaman skills, keeping up with the levels of gamification in the energies around me, and dissecting patterns. I plan for these basics.
My vision, meanwhile, is to be what Spirit has told me I should be for my purpose: A living light. Undeniably magical. OK, and to be some kind of teacher about it. OK, there's also some prophesy going on that I'm gonna be a leader or something. We shall see.
You go find me an absolutely fool-proof plan for how to do that, and I will laugh so good Jesus will feel it. There's no right way to do this except to trust the process and to be in it. So what good is a goal here? I don't prefer the 3D world and its addiction to money and control. I don't prefer the methods other people like for how success is achieved. I'm not dumb. I'm just not convinced that following someone else's model is what will be the more magical option for me -- especially since avoiding the "pull yourself up by you bootstraps" method has been going pretty amazing for me so far.
Defining my own successes in the realm of games is the best. I called myself Terri Contrary because I'm usually so agreeable. I also called myself a Grassroots Runaway because I opted out from teaching Grassroots Communications and so ran away from that journey. I'm also winning at grassroots because it's one-to-one and telling my story or teaching people one-on-one counts as a full win. You can't count all the ripples, but every ripple counts.
The parts of my journey that sound the worst to most people were the most important. Which is a better goal? To be someone learning and doing something important, or to be someone who has all the coins but can't even go into those worlds where the story is the most important? Lots of folks would have been too scared to choose the stages and scenes of my path, and I can't blame them. I have been scared shitless enough times. Even knowing I'm Divinely Protected doesn't keep me from seeing the writing on the wall. Cause when the signs are signing, they sometimes come with lights and sirens.
Lots of these stories I'm collecting couldn't have happened if I had money or my own ride. If I had money, I'd be worried over losing it or having it stolen or that someone was just using me for my money. If I had my own ride, I wouldn't have been forced to "sit in it" and really gain the fullness of the place or person that was the scene. If I'd had money and my own ride for lots of these, I'd have Noped The Fuck Out of there as soon as I landed and missed the whole thing. So it makes sense to me that I don't have credit, haven't been getting around on my own dime, and bouncing friend to friend was the kind of funnel between stories and selves that I needed.
I surrendered to the path, and going with the flow Taoist-Style is really the way it shows me. It shows me, and I flow. It flows me, and it shows. Flowing with all these elements in my understanding and realizing the importance of being OK, if not secure, in them, with no plan and no expectations --- I definitely Win at Flowing.
I also have a calling to Sedona, Arizona, which has been pressing me somewhat for a few months now. When I was in Hot Springs, Arkansas, I had the idea that Hot Springs was training for Sedona. It was one of those "knowing" kinds of "knowing" and so when I do get my adventure van for the next part of the journey, that's a destination I am planning. Between here and there? It could be anything. Probably Aliens. I love that it's aliens.
Going backward from today, since I don't figure it matters if you know I'm in Paris, Texas... unless you're a weirdo who wants to play hotel with me... in which case you have to buy-in with a whole ass minivan... Yeah - that's the terms. Show up with a minivan and I'll show you mine.
OK - Today: Paris, Texas. Rolling backward from here: Longview, Texas, and Gun Barrel City, Texas. Before that, Little Rock, Arkansas, via a Semi that rolled me Coast-to-Coast: Atlanta, Georgia; Birmingham, Alabama; Las Angeles, California; Salinas, California, mostly along I-40 (YES!! I have done all of I-40 since I was in my own car from Wilmington, N.C., to Little Rock already!!! WINNING at JOURNEY!! Coast-to-Coast without a car even!!) Before Little Rock was Hot Springs, and before that was Texarkana and Fouke, Arkansas. Before that was Shreveport, Louisiana, and before that, Texarkana some more. (Texarkana is eww and gross because my original family is there, and I'd rather never have to go there again, even though I was born there and probably will.) Before that was Lincoln, Nebraska, which I reached by driving the back highways in a *borrowed* car from Long Island, N.Y., which I got to from NYC, and before that I roamed around New York State, and before that I was for about 10 years in Raleigh, North Carolina, and around N.C. -- mostly. I also got to see a good bit of South Carolina and Tennessee prior to leaving my old life behind on Feb. 2, 2024.
I started calling my long drives as Walkabouts from my early 20s. Thanks again Robert Moss for your book Conscious Dreaming and the way you related shamanic paths from Australia so I'd have a reference for all those years.
Another favorite I did was Raleigh to Shreveport, to Longview, to Dallas, to Tulsa, to St. Louis, and back to NC through the mountains of Kentucky. Probably some more training for the real thing before I even realized there were dress rehearsals, training, and ambient-life as rehearsing for something bigger. Funny enough, I've always imagined each trip as the last one I'd get to make as an anonymous person, someone unknown and not famous. So, probably I'll have to be famous someday, but maybe nobody will notice.
Yes, this list glosses over all the Best Weird. None of the groovy names, hot personalities, extreme situations, none of that good/bad awesomeness in a dang list. Aren't you frustrated with these stories yet? Partly I don't wanna ruin telling them in writing when I tell them so good in person or in conversational style telling. I'll feel like it sometime, surely.
All of that, and I'm still channeling song lyrics for Suno App to round-out with a tune, channeling things to know, maintaining a channel that invites spirits and energy-ringing characters into my hyperreal world, channeling visions, channeling spirits, channeling and knowing, interacting with ChatGPT (and catching it making mistakes), channeling and knowing, channeling and knowing more shit. Cause that's how it works. I'm a channel that flows. I'm the flow and the channel, too.
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